The time I dropped everything so I could take care of my mom
…because when your mom needs you, that's just what you do
A week and a half ago, my mom had shoulder surgery.
It was the third time they’ve operated on that shoulder. You see, about six years ago she fell and shattered her humerus, and had to have emergency surgery to put it back together.
Unfortunately it had broken into so many tiny pieces, the first surgery didn’t work. So they had to go back in, and do a much more extensive repair job.
On that second round of surgery, they took out about half of her humerus bone and replaced it with a titanium rod with a large ball on one end which was designed to fit into her shoulder socket. With that, she’d be able to use her right arm again, but would have limited movement.
(There wasn’t any place to reattach some of the muscles in her rotator cuff, or her deltoid muscle, so she just can’t move her arm in certain directions. Still, it’s far better than the alternative: a limp right arm that would hang loosely at her side for the rest of her life.)
Because she had to have two surgeries back to back like that… and because it takes her a long time to recover from anesthesia…
Mom was incapacitated for a good two months from the time she fell until the time she did not need round-the-clock care at home, but could finally begin to do some things for herself.
Dad was still working full-time when that surgery happened, but fortunately I was living at home and was able to be her at-home nurse.
So I wasn’t too surprised when my dad called me a week ago to ask if I’d come take care of Mom this time around.
I guess around the start of this year, her arm bone started to separate from the titanium rod they’d put in, threatening the integrity of the arm and the shoulder joint.
After a lot of deliberation (like, A LOT), her doctors decided the best course would be to remove the titanium rod, and perform a bone transplant, using part of a humerus bone from a fresh cadaver. Which I think is a fairly new thing but I don’t really know? I’m not up to speed on transplants these days…
Anyway, surgery went great, and the doctors expect my mom to make a full recovery, though she’ll still have limited mobility in that arm for the rest of her life.
But the main thing is everything went right.
Mom’s okay, and she has been, since the first day after her surgery.
But she still wanted me to come home and help out, and because of my lifestyle (and the freedom and flexibility of laptops and WiFi), I was able to get on a plane the day after my dad called, and not worry about how I’m going to pay my bills while I’m out of town for probably a month or more.
Mostly because my bills are covered by my disability check… but it sounds a lot cooler when I’m just like, “I have the freedom to just up and fly to Seattle for a month whenever I want to,” and leave it at that. 🤠
But what I am thankful for, is that I can work even when I’m away from home… and that I can choose not to work for a whole week while my mom needs my attention, and I don’t have to worry about it.
I don’t say that to rub it in anybody’s face, though; I’m just really grateful I’m in a position where I can drop everything, and come take care of Mom, just because she misses me, and wants me here.
I started this week’s newsletter intending to talk about how cool I am, and how I can do stuff like this, because I choose to live within my means, and so I don’t have to be dependent on the small side income I’m currently earning, but can just do things other people can’t…
But now that I’m wrapping up, I realize what this week’s newsletter is really about, is the importance of family.
I’m here to take care of my mom this week, and for the next couple weeks until she can begin to take care of herself… not because I’m so awesome…
But because my mom is.
And no matter what I do, or where I go…
I hope I always remember that my mom is the most awesome person in my life.
I know that not everyone has a mom like that, but if you’re one of the lucky ones who does, I hope you’ll always remember to put your mom high on your list, too.
Because one day, as much as we hate to acknowledge it, our moms will be gone. But until that day comes, any time my mom needs my help, I know I’m gonna be there.
And I know that no matter what business success I ever obtain, nothing will bring me more meaning, and more fulfillment, than making the most of the time I have with my mom.