I no longer identify as someone who lets my anxiety control me
...and after you read this, neither will you.
Last month I went to an in-person event for VIP members of the American Writers and Artists Institute, and it blew my mind. š¤Æ
The event was set up to help copywriters identify the key issues that are holding them back in business (and in life, but the focus was on business) ā and I'm excited to say that not only have I identified my issuesā¦
I have obliterated them.
On my daily walk this morning, I realized I was walking down the street like I always doā¦ only I was happy and having a good time.
I had ZERO anxiety on my walk! Which is a brand-new development... usually I start to feel anxious the second I step outside my front door.
I donāt know if you remember, but I took a break from everything back in June so I could take care of my mental health.
And I do mean everything. I quit my dream job because my mental health was falling apart and I couldnāt keep going the way I was, or things were going to get worse.
This month, I'm ready to get back to work.
I've learned how to regulate my mental-emotional health, to the point that I am no longer "controlled" by upsets.
And that feels amazing.
(For real, like I never thought I would achieve this kind of mental clarity and emotional stability. It's such a blessing!)
I'm ready to start building healthy habits now, that will lead to success in my business and my life. (Immediate business success being: expand my professional network and land one new client in January 2025. Which, I am anxious about that though š but I'm ready to work through that anxiety, and make this happen.)
Now, I know that my anxiety isnāt actually goneā¦
You canāt live in this world without anxiety.
But what you can do ā what Iām learning to do ā is change where your focus is.
You see, every day, everywhere you go, youāre bombarded by a bajillion different feelings: boredom, excitement, enthusiasm, apathy, anger, joy, sorrow, happiness, warmth, indifference, fear, boldness, kindness, rudenessā¦
Itās almost as if all these emotions are like radio waves: theyāre everywhere, all the time, and you can only pick them up if youāre set to receive them.
If youāre looking for anxietyā¦ you can find it.
But itās never the only available option.
You can also find excitement, apathy, indifference, curiosity, acceptance, bigotry, mean-spiritedness, admiration, beauty, loveā¦
Whatever you want.
Itās all there, all the time.
Waiting for you to notice it.
To invite it in.
To feel it in your bonesā¦
And to pass it along to someone elseā¦
To either brighten their dayā¦
Or upset it.
Itās a choice you get to make, every day. Every moment. In every situation, and with every person you meet.
You donāt have to choose the anxiety.
Itāll still be there, whether you choose it, or not. Itās not ever going to go away.
Like every other emotion, it lives inside you.
But if you focus on something else ā letās say, enthusiasm ā the level of anxiety that you are aware of diminishesā¦
It fades into the background because youāre not focused on it.
Eventually, it finds its place among all the other background emotions, and you have to go looking for it to make sure itās still there. (Donāt actually go looking for it though; you donāt need it in as many situations as you think you doā¦)
I have a friend who lives in North Carolina who, like me, has been through some stuff.
When we met, we were each stuck in painful memories, and difficult (what you might even call ānegativeā) emotions.
Initially, we bonded over sharing these negative emotions and painful, traumatic memories. We connected because we shared this feeling that dealing with all these things is hardā¦
And the more we talked about āhow hard everything is,ā the harder everything would always feel.
But underneath it all, we were focused on building a healthy, supportive friendship. And we started to help each other work through some of these feelings.
As we did, we discovered that sometimes, those negative feelings were being replaced with happy ones.
We were still focused on the negative, but more and more, the happy ones started to come along for the ride.
Today, when we talk, our focus is on how we help each other find more happiness.
As good friends shouldā¦
We donāt focus on the pain, or the past, or the way it makes us feel today, to still have all those traumatic memories ā we focus on helping each other growā¦ on releasing pent-up feelingsā¦ on reframing past trauma, and finding the lessons and the silver lining.
And because our focus is on growth, and positivity, and loveā¦
Weāre able to help each other through an awful lot of painful memories and emotions! Because we know that as we do, weāre clearing out the old and making room for something much, much better.
If our focus was on the pain, weād still be stuck in it.
Since itās on helping each other find more happiness ā guess what weāre both getting really good at?
Meanwhile, the pain is still there. The trauma still happened. The memories will never go away.
And yet, weāre still finding ways to be happy. Even in the face of the pain, and the trauma, and the memories. Weāre still finding ways to be happy.
Weāre not ignoring our pain. Far from it!
Itās just, when we focus on supporting each other and helping each other outgrow our pastā¦ the pain doesnāt hit as hard, anymore.
By taking our focus off the pain, itās fading into the background. Itās finding its rightful place in our lives, and allowing us to finally move forward.
Itās not hard to do, but it takes time to learn.
But once you have learned to put your focus on what you want to feel, instead of whatās currently āmakingā you feelā¦
Youāll never look at pain, or fear, or trauma, or anxiety, the same.
You will have control.
You will know that you always have a choice, and that whatever you focus on, that is what you will find.
And God willing, youāll focus on something wonderful.