He called me an idiot
And I think he thought that made him look smart or something
I probably should’ve known better than to try and get into an honest discussion on Facebook. After all, people don’t go on social media looking for honesty.
But I had a point to make, and I honestly (see what I did there) believed that if I calmly explained my point of view, he would be willing to at least entertain it.
But no.
Dude told me all the ways I was wrong for having an opinion that wasn’t the same as his… and then he ended his comment with, “You’re an idiot.”
I could sense that things were getting heated, and in my mind I was preparing a response that I’m sure would’ve put this gentleman in his place, and then it happened.
I realized: I don’t care what he thinks of me.
Not “I’ll show him who’s an idiot!”
Not “Maybe he just misunderstood and maybe if I explain what I meant, he’ll take it back and he won’t be mean to me.”
Not “He called me an idiot so that must mean that I am one! Oh no, what will I do?”
I legit didn’t care at that point, what he thought.
And that’s a new place for me to be in… but I rather like it.
In the past, I would’ve been angry. I would’ve typed something that would show what I think of him (and I wouldn’t have been kind about it). I would’ve felt like I needed to throw it back in his face — like I was justified in being a prick in my response.
But if I’d done that, it wouldn’t have accomplished anything. Except maybe to keep the anger going a little bit longer.
And I’m not an angry person.
So I chose not to react.
And then something amazing happened. I realized that his comment had nothing to do with me, but that it was an honest reflection of what’s in this man’s heart and mind. I realized that he is so angry, and so quick to prove that he’s right, that he believes calling people idiots and tearing them down online is appropriate behavior “in defense of his worldview.”
Once I realized that, his comment no longer upset me. Instead, it became the last desperate words of a bitter man who wasn’t mature enough to listen to somebody’s point of view if it threatened what he already believes.
And I knew that he was so intent on proving everyone around him wrong, that he wasn’t even willing to consider someone else’s input, and it wouldn’t matter how I respond; if it wasn’t in line with his opinion, it would automatically be wrong.
So I just walked away. Or scrolled on by, to be more precise.
And that taught me two things:
Some people aren’t mature enough to allow others to enjoy true freedom of thought
Even though I’ve been angry, frustrated, and confused, a lot, I am not an angry person, and I don’t enjoy adding more anger and frustration into the world.
And it was kind of a simple “breakthrough” for me to have that realization, yet at the same time, it’s fundamentally changed how I view social media, and what I specifically want to use it for.
Like any other tool (not sure that’s the exact word I’m looking for…), social media can be used for good, and for bad. It’s sort of up to the end user to decide. And I never really thought that much about it, one way or the other. I just thought of Facebook as being my escape, my outlet, my entertainment… and I didn’t think about how my actions online affect other people (or even if they affect other people).
But one thing that being called an idiot by a complete stranger who’s never met me before has taught me, is that I don’t enjoy being treated unkindly by people — even if it is people I’ve never met and who I only know as a picture and a name on my computer screen.
And I don’t want to be unkind to others.
So I’m gonna try to be more intentional about my conversations, and about how I treat people, even on Facebook. Because while I can handle having someone call me an idiot, and recognize that’s all about them and their insecurities…
It doesn’t help anybody’s insecurities to be mean to another person when it’s not warranted.
And I want to help people, not hurt them.
And I reckon if you’ve read this far, you’re probably the same.
So what do you say we stop calling each other names online… and start showing a little more kindness and consideration? The way we treat each other matters, and the people you meet (even on Facebook) deserve to be treated with dignity, and respect.