166 hours per week of solitude

Why 2025 will be my year of relationships

Note: I won’t be publishing on Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve, so this is my last newsletter until January 7th. Whatever you celebrate, I hope you have an enjoyable holiday, and I’ll see you back here in 2025.

One thing I really dislike about living alone is how lonely I’ve become.

There’s nobody for me talk to at home.

I don’t have a job outside of the house, so there’s nobody for me to talk to at work, either.

I get all my groceries delivered, so I don’t even get to interact with other people at the grocery store…

I do go to church, though, when my pain’s not too bad… so that’s something…

But church is only two hours long, which means even on weeks that I go, I still spend 166 hours by myself.

Maybe that’s why I always get so excited any time I travel, because I know I’m gonna get to spend some time with other people for a change.

Next week, I’m going to my brother’s house for Christmas. (This may be the first time I’ve seen my brother in over a year; I honestly can’t remember…)

I’m gonna be there for five days. We probably won’t do a whole lot, except for eat, sleep, watch Christmas movies, and visit with the grandkids. But I’ll be around other people.

I need other people in my life. Probably in much greater doses than what I’m currently getting.

The truth is, we all need other people. Humans are social creatures; we need a tribe to belong to. We need people we can talk to, rely on, learn from… people we can lean on when we need support… people we can celebrate with when we receive good news…

We need other people to help give our lives meaning, purpose, and direction.

No matter what we tell ourselves, nobody gets through this life alone. We need help from other people. We need relationships. We need to know that we’re not alone.

That’s one of the reasons I started writing this newsletter: so that I wouldn’t feel so alone. It helps a lot.

It’s strange, actually. I live alone, and I spend all of my time by myself, yet I feel more connected to the world than I did when I lived with Mom and Dad. But, then, I’ve grown a lot since moving out… I’m probably not even the same person I was, two years ago.

Still, I do get awfully lonely.

If you’re struggling with loneliness this Christmas, I want you to know you’re not the only one.

I’m fortunate that I get to spend the holiday with family! And I’m really looking forward to it.

But when I come back home, it’s back to figuring out how to handle this loneliness, and not let it stop me from moving forward. The cold, empty feeling of being totally alone is about the only thing that can stop me, these days. And it’s not going to change unless I do something different.

As much as I’d been hoping that 2025 will be the year for my career to start… I think what I really need to focus on next year is my relationships.

I can’t keep going on, spending all my time alone, isolated from all the people around me. It’s not making me happy anymore.

I want other people in my life. I’m ready to start letting them in.

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P.S. Sometimes, seasonal loneliness or depression is too much to bear.

If you’re struggling this year and you don’t know what to do, the national crisis hotline is 988. I’ve called it before and 10/10 would recommend to a friend.

It’s far better than the alternative.

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